Leading with
questions or with leading questions?
I’ve had a couple of
conversations recently with some folks near and dear to my heart…my kids. Both
of my kids are in the process of making some major life choices. One of them
was asking for my input while, admittedly, I was offering the other my thoughts
and advice even if they weren’t specifically seeking it. Both of them are
college aged and the world would consider them adults even though, to me, they
will always be “my kids.”
Wanting to respect
their independence, I’m at a point in my relationship with both of them where I
must limit my desire to tell them what to do. I want them to think more deeply
on their own and have a healthy thought process for decision making. During our
recent phone conversations I’ve asked questions in an effort to hopefully help
them think more deeply about their decisions and the impact those decisions may
have on their lives.
Shortly after the
second conversation, I was reflecting on the questions I had asked and was
wondering if I had added any value to the thought process. As I thought back, I
wondered whether the questions I had offered were really leading my kids to
discover the best options and alternatives for their given situations or if
these questions were simply my opinions stated in the form of questions.
There are several
books written about leading conversations with great questions. I think the
challenge for myself and other leaders is to make sure we are truly “leading
with questions” and not asking “leading questions.” The first allows people
opportunities to grow and become better decision makers. The latter can
potentially stifle deeper thinking and create “group think” or drive behavior
that, while our preference, may not be the preference of our team members. As you lead, think about how your questions
are perceived.
Continue Leading the
Interstates Way!
Jack Woelber
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