What Are You Afraid Of?

This week's post comes from Dave Crumrine.

It's not quite Halloween, but there still seems to be plenty of stuff around to scare us.

Recently I have had a number of opportunities to reflect on why I'm not moving ahead on something or why I'm simply slow to act. When kicking this around with a trusted colleague, they asked "what do you think you are afraid of?" 

After thinking about this a little, it was pretty obvious why I was dragging my feet...and pretty obvious that I really hadn't acknowledged it. I think much of this comes down to awareness. There are things most of us don't even know we are afraid of. Our self-defense systems start working, our brains classify something as "dangerous" and it doesn't make it out of our "lizard brain" to the rational part of our brain where we can really think about it. We filter it…somewhat automatically.  

Since watching this a little more closely for myself, I notice it happens quite a bit. I have found a few tricks that help me get past being reluctant to act or to not get certain things done. When I feel this is happening,  I ask myself the question "what are you afraid of?" and almost magically…it becomes clear. The question seems to move the fear from the subconscious part of my mind to the rational, thinking part. After that, I can make sense of it and it almost always becomes more manageable. Sometimes (maybe most of the time) I end up feeling silly about what was slowing me down. 

If it is bigger than that, or a "repeater" (something I keep avoiding), I have learned to make progress by asking "what is the worst that can happen?" or "how likely is it that this will turn out poorly?".  Again, this rational effort works great for getting me to be real about the fear and the importance of what I am avoiding...and then more active at moving ahead.

Are you resisting change? Are you not "leaning into" your challenges? Is your progress not satisfactory in your mind?

Simply ask "what am I afraid of?" and see what happens. When you get that mastered, you can start helping other people question what they are afraid of.

Continue Leading the Interstates Way!

Dave Crumrine

Reputation of Awesomeness

This week's post comes from Scott Peterson.

One of the best ways for a leader to engage people and create an environment that people want to follow them is simple -- be vulnerable.
 

By being vulnerable, you are letting people know your mistakes, your weaknesses, your flaws, and your fears.  This makes you real to them.  They can relate to you more and connect to you better.  It also models trust.  You trust them enough to share information that could hurt you. 

By being real (being vulnerable), you are also creating a standard for your team.  They need to be real with you and the rest of the team.  If a team knows everyone's weaknesses and fears, they will be stronger and more productive/effective.  If a team knows everyone's mistakes, they can help with the recovery and learn from other mistakes. 

This is common sense, but it is not common practice.  Believe me, it is hard.  When I feel myself getting tense and uncomfortable, I know it is an indication that I really want to hold back (e.g. my fears, mistakes, flaws and weaknesses).  This is a daily struggle, and some days are worse than others.

So, this blog might feel like a bait and switch.  Well, yes and no.  If you watch this video (which is one of Mr. YouTube's favorites).  You will fully understand how by not hiding your mistakes/flaws, but embracing them -- you can build a reputation of AWESOMENESS!!! 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mls-0X09bDQ

 

Continue leading the Interstates way!

Scott Peterson

Getting "Chicked"

This week's post comes from David Krahling.

Oh the stories we tell…

I recently enjoyed a great conversation with my forty-something female cousin who is into competitive bicycle racing. This is not the skinny wheel, road racing you might know from Lance Armstrong and Tour De France. This version features fat tired bicycles and courses that go up and down steep hills, through trees, over small logs and around large rocks. Some may think her a tad crazy, but I think she has a perfect attitude about it. She mostly competes against herself, always striving to improve against her own time. She will admit, though, that one of her recent thrills was that she “chicked a guy.” 

“Wait, what was that? You what?”

“I chicked a guy. That means I passed a male racer. The men start most races well ahead of us, so passing one of the guys is a big deal. I didn’t gloat. I’ve been passed lots of times myself, so I know how it feels. In this case, it just felt good to know that I was on top of my game.” OK. Good to know that my 48-year-old cousin can still bring her A game to the race course and to dinner table conversation.

Fast forward a month to one of my recent bike rides. I was fourteen miles into a fifteen mile ride, just a tad winded, when I saw two bikes coming up from behind, closing the gap. When I noticed they were female and young, I dug a little deeper to stay ahead, but it soon became clear- I was going to get “chicked.” 

And then my stories began. I told myself, “They must be in mile one of their ride, probably doing a two mile sprint, no need to be embarrassed by my pace.” And “Oh man! Added together, the sum of their age is still 10 years short of my own. Oh to be as fit as I was in my twenties.” or “ I wonder if I know them. Maybe they are just messing with me.” or even, “They must have really good bikes. If I had a better bike I’m sure I’d keep up.”

The stories that we tell ourselves often lead us in the wrong direction and to wrong assumptions. My stories were classic victim and villain stories. I told myself stories that framed others as villains [I bet they’re messing with me] and myself as a victim. [Yeah, right, it’s my bike’s fault.] Being aware of the stories we tell ourselves can help us replace our stories with more rational thinking.

Seeing these stories as the defense mechanism that they are is a key concept associated with Crucial Conversations training. Knowing that we all have a tendency to tell such stories can help us see things differently. Recognizing the story and separating fact from feelings can help us keep conversations safe and help us react appropriately. Keeping conversations safe is a fundamental leadership skill. Recognizing the stories we tell is a great first step in doing just that. 

What whoppers have you been telling yourself lately?

Continue leading the Interstates way!
David Krahling

Margin in Life

This week's post is from Jack Woelber.

 

While reading Doug Post’s blog on leadership margin dated July 17, 2014, I was reminded of a video series I had watched several years ago featuring Christian speaker Andy Stanley. The series talked about margin in our lives in multiple areas and while reading Doug’s blog, I thought it might be good to share some other thoughts about margin in other areas of our lives.  

 

In this fast paced and hectic world, we often say we are too busy or don’t have enough time or money. Often we do whatever we can with whatever time or money we have to “get the most out of life”.  

 

Andy suggests that there are multiple areas in life that could use some margin. Andy defines margin as the space between our current performance and our limits or an amount beyond what is actually needed. There are four areas I’d like to touch on regarding margin. 

1. Schedule Margin – Often we have our days booked so tight with exercise, work, house work, to-do's, kids games, etc. that every minute is scheduled. Because of this, our stress level goes up, our focus narrows, and our relationships can suffer. If we could create some “margin” in our schedule, our stress might go down and we might have some space for the things that come up unexpectedly (both good and bad). Maybe we wouldn’t have to give up the important for the urgent.  
2. Financial Margin – Have you heard the phrase “the one with the most stuff wins”? Society has placed an incredible amount of pressure on individuals and families to have “stuff”. I can get caught up in this easily. The need to “have stuff” often puts pressure on our finances. If I had less stuff, it might give me more margin in both my finances as well as my time. Having some financial margin could also reduce stress. 
3. Moral Margin – If we are always living our life on the edge of morality, then it doesn’t allow much margin when we are challenged or pushed to go over the line. Once we are pushed over the line, it can affect us psychologically as well as in our relationally.  
4. Professional Margin – In addition to Doug’s comments on leadership margin, what about professional margin? Are the things that you are doing adding value to you, the company, or society? Are you spending your time at work on the right things? Or are you filling up your time with things that maybe could / should be done by others? Would having some margin in our time at work allow us to spend our time on the right stuff? 

After watching Andy’s video several years ago, I have thought about it often. When things get too busy or too tight and I start to lose focus or get stressed, I try to evaluate the margin in my life and determine if I have over committed in any of the above areas. I’d challenge you to grade yourself in the four areas above. How do you score when it comes to “margin” in these areas of your life? 

 

Thoughts taken from Take It To The Limit by Andy Stanley.  

 

Continue Leading the Interstates Way!

 

Jack Woelber

 

True Grit

This week's post comes from Scott Peterson.

 

Sure, True Grit is a great western movie. It is also something that we have at Interstates. Grit is about facing challenges with courage and strength and working through them. It is about leaning into challenges and tough situations, no matter how difficult they are. It is about doing the right thing and getting the job done (and done well).

 

Grit is about tenacity and having an open mind, which sounds like an oxymoron -- but it is true. That open mind is about having a growth mindset and having a passion to learn and to improve. It is about not being scared or avoiding situations that you might fail. Embracing the situation and potential failure - "I don't have it figured out, YET!!" It is truly one of the best qualities of Interstates' employees and leaders.  

 

I could stop there, but that would not be the Interstates Way. In order to pursue a better way, all of us should think about what the next level of Interstates Grit would look like. For me, and I am guessing for a lot of leaders at Interstates, it is adding the "We" to the grit mentality. It is about asking for help, offering help, leaning into tough IPD issues and giving feedback across business units. It is applying something we are already great at ("GRIT") to "One Interstates, One Service".  

 

As leaders, we have the responsibility to teach and develop grit in our teams and new team members. We have hired a lot of talented people in the last couple of years, and we will be hiring more. If we, as leaders, can model, teach and develop grit in our team members -- that would have huge impact on our employees, teams, and clients. It would be about carrying on the Interstates Way to the next generation.  

 

Your challenge: 

• Show your passion to figure challenges out (passion to learn) 
• Show your passion to recover from failure (tenacity and perseverance) 
• Lead with vulnerability - "I need help" 
• Lead with the "We" -- We don't have it figured out, yet.  

 

As leaders, lets leverage our grit. We need to continue to model grit; we need to live with grit; and we need to teach new people grit…that True Grit and is the Interstates Way.  

 

Continue Leading the Interstates Way!

Scott Peterson   

 

** This video was a reference for me as I wrote this article and may provide you with more insight on grit (on.ted.com/psuF).

Servant Leadership Margin

This week's post comes from Doug Post.

We technical leaders are often our own worst enemy. It’s likely we were promoted to lead because of our ability to get things done. Often we find it tempting to keep ourselves too busy doing, or jumping into, our past job (our “occupational hobby”). The problem is that we don’t prioritize time to be effective servant leaders helping others excel at the work we once did.  In other words, we often do not get to what is now our most important role.

Ask yourself this, have you built enough leadership margin (available time) in your day to serve?  Here are some quick test questions for you:*

1. Do you put your direct reports first?  This means finding out what others need and making those needs your priority, not your own. Putting the interest of others first involves finding out what matters to them. It is not serving –although it might feel more efficient—to impose your own grid on others! We need to understand their situation and their needs accurately, and this comes from listening to them, not coming in with our assumptions.

2. Are you eager to meet your peoples’ needs?  When they stop by do you see it as an interruption or an opportunity? Do you respond with eagerness and joy, or with grudging reluctance?

3. Are you proactive, not reactive, in helping your stakeholders? A servant leadership ethic is being on the lookout to identify needs proactively and then take action to meet those needs. We should look for opportunities to do good for our people.

4. Are you willing to make things harder on yourself to make them easier on others?

While these questions might be cause for reflection on one's character, our focus in this article is on leaving enough margin in our day to be available for others. That is, making time to be servant leaders.

I’ve found that building routines into my  calendar is very helpful in prioritizing time for others at work.  For example, I like to get up early and complete my top personal assignments before I go into the office. This helps alleviate the personal deadline pressure that can make me treat people like interruptions. It helps me be more available for others than when I let myself get too busy.

If this approach interests you, an excellent podcast and article on finding leadership margin through routines is available at http://michaelhyatt.com/081-how-to-create-more-margin-in-your-crazy-busy-life-podcast.html. It includes a helpful Excel template to get started.

What are your challenges and wins in finding time to be fully present for others? Please share, I’d love to hear from you on this topic.

*Questions adapted from What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done by Matt Perman, p. 89-92.

Continue Leading the Interstates Way!

Doug Post

The Power of Being Wrong

This week's post comes from Dave Crumrine.

What's really going on here?  Am I seeing this properly?

Recently I watched a TED video on "being wrong" and why most of us generally avoid it so much that it is making us far less effective than we could be.  If we would just take a minute and get real about how much we know and don't know, we would be much more effective as leaders.  To simply acknowledge that our mind dramatically affects what we "see".  Or that our own personal filters are different than those around us and "the truth" looks different to just about everybody around us.  In other words, our perspective is unique. (and so is everyone else's by the way)

For me, one leadership responsibility is instilling confidence on the direction. This means that I often am not 100% sure of something but I believe the followers need to be confident and we need to get going. So I step out there, set direction and take action. The problem is, I often do it in a way that doesn't leave enough room to be "wrong" and make proper adjustments. Not too far along, I don't want to be wrong (even though I wasn't 100% sure when I started) and certainly the followers don't want to tell me I'm wrong. Will that keep any of us from making the important, quick adjustments to be successful…..?  Almost certainly.

Many of us understand that any journey takes a huge number of adjustments. Heck, a good casual family vacation at my house takes dozens. Why would complex business be any less so?

This forced me to consider how well I, and we at Interstates, test our ideas. Are we comfortable with telling people we aren't sure? We believe we have an edge and can be "more right" or "right more often".  Is that true? Or is it just for own ego that we need to be right?  If we set out on our direction with "this is how we are going to start, and we are going to look for ____ " to know we are on track, would we be better at making adjustments? With everyone looking for the signs and basically set-up to adjust, would we be better?

Many productive and accomplished people throughout  history have said that failing faster and failing "better" is the secret to making progress and doing great things. So why is being wrong so hard on us?  Why do we avoid it?  Don't we get it?  Or don't we get it way down deep, where it really counts?  Do we understand all this on an intellectual level, but when it comes time for us to be wrong...we would just as soon let someone else step out and volunteer for that?

I'd propose that we should all get better at knowing that we will be wrong and setting out looking for it. We need to get great at listening to each other to "see " when it it isn't working and adjust.

As leaders, we can't set out to be perfect. That's for elementary school spelling tests.  Our work as leaders would be way more effective if we set ourselves up to expect to be wrong and get great at seeing it and making timely course corrections using the people around us.

Challenge going forward... Ask yourself "where am I wrong and am not admitting it?"  "Where could my being wrong and not seeing it, be holding back my team?"

The 18 min. video I watched if you are interested is found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QleRgTBMX88

Continue Leading the Interstates Way!

Dave Crumrine